The Babblings of a Chronically Mad Girl
Before you follow me on any of my socials, know thisMy blog is a mess and I’m not sorry about it. If you can't handle messy, incomplete, random, and very inconsistent posting, you can step off now.My blog and Tumblr are for 18+. My socials are not entirely SFW. There WILL be a lot of swearing and there MAY be nudity, blood, gore, talk of sex, traumatic experiences, chronic and mental illnesses, and other triggering and/or questionable content.I’m friendly and am receptive to messages and DMs so long as they aren’t disrespectful or disgusting. I love interacting with smart, funny, interesting people and get really excited when mentions show up in my notifications, or I get respectful DMs and comments. The same goes for retweets! feel free to reply to my tweets and/or retweet.I am very happily married. I will occasionally comment (primarily in tags) things for my wife and my wife alone. If you see that, please move on without comment.I like to write open letters. If you know me, do not assume you are the primary target of said letter.My socials are a safe space for the LGBTQIA+ community.DO NOT FOLLOW if you're homophobic, queerphobic, transphobic, sexist, an exclusionist, ableist, racist etc. TERF, SWERF, MAP, or PEAR (and their supporters) racist, fascist, Alt-right, white nationalist, trump supporter, misogynistic, or a self-proclaimed nazi.DO NOT FOLLOW if you're anti-semetic, anti-paganism, anti-agnostic, anti-athiest, or anti-any other religion.DO NOT FOLLOW if you are anti-vaccine, anti-masking, anti-immigration, anti-Black Lives Matter , anti-equality, anti-equity, or if you don’t believe everyone deserves the right to live.DO NOT FOLLOW if you don't believe that black lives matter; indigenous lives matter; hispanic lives matter; asian lives matter; or sex worker's lives matter.DO NOT FOLLOW if you're pro-ana/thinspo or if you're pro other ED.DO NOT FOLLOW If you support PETA.DO NOT FOLLOW if you are looking for sexual relations or anything of the like. P l e a s e refrain from sending me dirty asks or dirty messages, they make me really fucking mad and I will block you. Do not send unsolicited pictures of your genitalia. You’re just embarrassing yourself and will be blocked.PLEASE KNOW that if you follow me on any of my socials and I don't follow back it's either because I didn't notice (which is usually the case) we don't have enough interests in common.
Personal Relationships and Privacy (a.k.a. Calm Down, You Don’t Know Them Like That)Reading someone’s weblog does not mean you know them. Not a little. Not “kind of.” Not “I feel like I get them.” You know the version of themselves they chose to publish, on purpose, with edits, omissions, and sometimes a bit of creative flair. Any conclusions you draw about who they are as a person are based on incomplete, curated information and possibly exaggeration. Congratulations, you are working with a highlight reel. Keep your armchair diagnoses and sweeping judgments to yourself. You are the reader, not the biographer, therapist, or jury.
The only time your opinion might be welcome is when the writer explicitly asks for advice or feedback. If they didn’t ask, assume they don’t want it.Do not contact a writer fishing for extra details about their life. If it is not on the site, that is not an accident. It is not a puzzle for you to solve. It means they decided it was too personal, too private, or too none-of-your-business to share publicly. If you are close to them in real life, they will tell you what they want you to know, when they want you to know it. Until then, resist the urge to pry. If you are meant to know, you will. This is not a scavenger hunt.If you have a real-life relationship with the writer, this part matters even more. Weblogs are online journals, and they deserve the same respect you would give a diary shoved under a mattress. If you read their site, tell them. Especially if they did not personally invite you to do so. Sneaking around pretending you “just stumbled across it” is not cute or clever. It is creepy.If they ask you not to read it, or they suddenly stop posting, ask why. If the answer is “please don’t,” then stop going to the site. Full stop. Your presence as a friend, relative, coworker, or whatever you are to them should never interfere with their ability to be honest and unfiltered in their own space. That site is their outlet. They may write things you would not enjoy reading, including things about you or people you care about. This might be to protect feelings, avoid unnecessary drama, or maintain boundaries. Respect that. If asked to stop reading, stop immediately. And under no circumstances should you repeat, quote, paraphrase, screenshot, or weaponize anything you read there. That is a betrayal, not a misunderstanding.If someone writes about you and you are not thrilled about it, talk to them. Directly. Calmly. Like an adult. Explain that you also deserve privacy. Compromises exist. Nicknames. Vague references. Or simply not mentioning you at all. If what upsets you is that they are writing unflattering things, be honest about that too. See if there is a way to resolve the issue and salvage the relationship. If there isn’t, your best option is to stop reading the site. Obsessively hate-reading someone’s journal is a choice, and not a healthy one. Eventually, they will move on. You should too.Former friends, exes, estranged relatives, and anyone else who has been removed from the writer’s life should take this as a sign. If the relationship is over, you do not need daily updates. You are not entitled to them. If you absolutely cannot stop yourself from reading, do it quietly and keep your mouth shut. Never repeat what you read. Never use it to cause harm. Lurking is not admirable, but being discreet is the bare minimum.Feedback and Initiating Contact (Read First, Type Later)If the site has a guestbook, sign it. Compliments are generally welcome. Thoughtful feedback is fine. Criticism is acceptable if it is constructive and not delivered like a tantrum. Nobody owes you a platform for your bad mood. If all you have to offer is negativity, consider the radical option of saying nothing.Before contacting someone for the first time, do the bare minimum. Read their site. Read their bio. Read the FAQ if they have one. If they have already explained who they are, where they live, or how old they are, do not ask anyway. It makes you look lazy at best and disrespectful at worst. Writers put time and effort into what they share. Respect that by paying attention.Do not assume a writer owes you a reply. They might get a handful of messages a day, or hundreds. Some people respond quickly. Some respond selectively. Some never respond at all. This is not a personal attack. If you react to silence by getting rude, demanding, or wounded, you will torch any chance of future interaction. No one enjoys being guilted by a stranger.Also, manage your expectations. The writer may become important to you. That does not mean you are important to them. You are seeing into their life. They know almost nothing about yours. If they seem distant, uninterested, or politely closed off, remember that you are a stranger. They are allowed to keep it that way. This is not a challenge. This is a boundary.Do not be a stalker. This should go without saying, but apparently it does not.Do not contact people through messaging services unless they openly list their handles on their site. If you got the information from someone else, pretend you never saw it. It was probably shared privately for a reason.A writer can stop posting at any time, for any reason, and they do not owe you an explanation. Not closure. Not an announcement. Not a heartfelt goodbye. It is their space. They can abandon it, delete it, or burn it to the ground metaphorically whenever they want.Offensive Language and Materials (The Exit Button Exists)The internet encourages free expression. That means you will sometimes encounter content you do not like. If a site offends you, leave. No one dragged you there. Demanding that someone change their language, tone, or content because you disapprove is absurd. You chose to visit. You can choose to stop. The exception, obviously, is illegal content. That is when contacting an ISP or authorities is appropriate. Everything else falls under “not your house, not your rules.”Copyright and Courtesy (Do Not Steal, Period)Do not ask someone to design your site, teach you their tricks, or hand over their layouts unless they specifically offer. Tutorials exist. Search engines exist. Use them.Do not take anything from someone’s site. Not their writing. Not their images. Not their HTML. Not their graphics. If they did not explicitly give permission, it is not yours to use. People are attached to their work, and copyright exists whether or not a little © symbol is visible. Creation equals ownership. End of story.And for the love of all that is decent, never direct link to someone else’s images or graphics. That includes buttons, banners, and “free” looking goodies. Direct linking is bandwidth theft. It costs the site owner money. Save the file and upload it to your own server unless the author clearly says otherwise.In short, read with respect. Interact with intention. Mind your boundaries. And remember that behind every weblog is an actual human being who deserves basic decency, even when they are funny, messy, dramatic, or brutally honest.